Inside the mind of Dr Spencer Reid
by Love Of Blood
Summary: Even Dr. Spencer Reid has his own battles to deal with but the question remands will he allow his friends to come in and help him throughout his battle with Dilaudid or will he keep his guard up and keep those who care about him out?


To really get inside the mind of doctor Spencer Reid's head one has to first fight their way past the denying shaking, sweating, moaning and weeping of his struggling pain. Only then could you finally understand the true doctor Spencer Reid. His brain was like a battle field and the only way for the war to end is if the inner self found closer to his inner most demon, Dilaudid. This demon had proven to be much more harder for the young kid to handle but if Morgan was to free his friend from his long time suffering, he had to do something. So with his mind finally made up, Morgan made his way from his seated position on the team's plane and opened up the shoulder bag that his friend Spencer never leaves without. Finding what he was looking for, Morgan looked back towards his sleeping friend before getting up and walking towards the plane's bathroom. It only took minutes but after the drug was finally flashed down the toilet where his friend could no longer get a hold of it, Morgan exited the bathroom and headed back to his seat, awaiting for the start of doctor Reid's inner battle. No more then two hours later Reid had started to show signs of a struggle. He quickly grabbed his ears as if he heard something he no longer wanted to hear. Then came the squinting of the eyes as if something had made him fearful, but what Reid needed to understand was that he had nothing to fear for all of his friends were there and they were all willing to make the journey with him no matter how long it took or how painful it was. Spencer began to shake his head uncontrollably as he started to scream out in pain, "Please stop. Please stop the pain." More then anything Morgan wanted to step in and fight the battle for Reid but he knew that this was one battle that Reid would have to fight on his own and so with his hands held up high into the air so the rest of the team would know not to step in, Morgan continued to watch as Reid continued to fight through his own battle. Finding him confronted by something or someone, Reid took a big quip before starting to breath heavy. What ever or who ever was now standing in his way was not a friend but was an enemy and that enemy wanted nothing but to stop Reid from succeeding in fighting his battle with dilaudid. With another out burst Reid began to cry but instead of asking for the pain to stop, he had asked for the person to forgive him for something that he had done. After knowing Reid for a long while now Morgan and the rest of the team knew just who he was asking for forgiveness to Mr. Tobias Hankel, the enemy who had kidnapped Reid and made him prisoner of his own mind. Despite to help Reid in his struggle with his inner self, J.J. fought her way closer to the innocent Reid and places head phones which was a hard task of itself for Reid was still unaware of what really was happening and what he had thought that was happening. In the end J.J. had won and Reid now wore head phones. Backing herself away from Reid so that she wouldn't be in the cross fire of Reid's attacks, J.J. turned to her friends who were confused by her action before looking down at the tape recorder in her hands. After pressing play, J.J. watched hoping that Reid would finally end his battle with Dilaudid. It didn't take long for Reid to react towards what was on the tape. Suddenly he calmed down and seemed to be deeply focused on what he was hearing. Curious as to what had caused Reid to suddenly react the way that he was reacting, the rest of the team turned to J.J. before asking what was on the tape. Smiling J.J. turned to Penelope and had asked her if she could connect the tape player while it was playing to her laptop. As the team's tech wizard, Penelope nodded before taking a wire and attaching it to one of the sides of the laptop then once that was done Penelope walked over to the tape player that was still in J.J.'s hand and attached the other end of the wire to it. Within seconds a young boy's voice could be heard throughout the FBI's private plane. "One thing to remember is that it is ok to ask for help. You don't need to do this on your own. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong and that is why it is important for you to let your guard down for if you don't then you won't live to be the amazing strong person that you are meant to be. So please Spencer listen to me. Release those tears of yours and ask for help because you deserve it. You really do. No one was aware that while fighting back their own tears that Reid was also fighting back being seen crying, but expecting Reid's reaction after hearing what the voice on the tape had to say. J.J. kneeled down next to Reid who was fighting off his own tears before smiling and whispering, "It is ok baby brother. I got you." Overwhelmed by the kindness, Reid without thinking about what he was about to do hugged J.J. as tight as he could for he didn't want to go through what he had gone through alone. In aww of what was happening right in front of them, the rest of the team said nothing as they continued to watch the scene that was happening right in front of them. After awhile Reid did pull himself together again. Breaking away from the hug, he rubbed his eyes for the nightmares that have caused him sleep derivation for the longest of time was really starting to get to him all he wanted right at that moment was for his friends to be there to help him while he slept and even to be there while he was awake for he just couldn't handle his pain and struggles anymore. He just couldn't. Knowing that Reid would do anything to avoid the talk that they needed to have, Morgan grabbed a hold on his young brother's hand. This had caused Reid to stop rubbing his eyes and to focus his attention on Morgan. Knowing that he had to say something for this problem that Reid has been hiding has been put off long enough. Taking a deep breath, Morgan closed his eyes before opening them up and saying "you have been battling your own problems for way too long on your own and it is time for us to help you. We can't do that until you surrender and ask for help. Now I know that this won't be easy and I know that this will be hard but we will be here along side you the whole way. We promise. So what do you say? Will you let your guard down and will you let us into your life?" Not wanting to answer right away, Reid looked to each one of his team mates before stopping back at Morgan. Take a deep breath with his eyes closed, Reid said yes. He will allow his friends into his life. Over joyed everyone smiled and clapped on each others shoulder. Once everyone had finally settled down, Morgan knew that there was one more thing left to do before this battle was over with and that was to get rid of the belt that Reid used to drug himself as well as the syringe that he used to drug himself with. Without saying a word, Morgan held out both the belt as well as the syringe waiting nervously for Reid's response. Looking down towards both the belt as well as the syringe that Morgan held in his hand. Knowing the right thing to do but struggling to move forward Reid turned to J.J. before seeing her motherly face. Knowing that a mother would only be disappointed in their child for nothing doing the right thing, Reid signed before talking both the belt as well as the syringe out of Morgan's hands. Not paying any attention to the watchful eyes of his friends, Reid made his way towards the garbage can that was on the plane. Once at the garage can Reid paused and looked back towards his friends. Seeing all of the proud faces made Reid realize that what he was about to do was the right thing to do. With that though in mind, Reid took a breath before closing his eyes and releasing the items that he held in his hands. After that Reid didn't hear the rush of his team as they ran over to him to congrats him on his bigvictory. All he heard was one light medal object hitting the bottom of the garbage can and then one heavy medal object hitting the bottom of the garbage cans. Even though Those two sound were different they still meant the something to Reid. They both meant that he could finally let go. They both meant that he could finally live his life. The life that he wasn't able to live before. They both meant that this part of his life was now over with. The part where he found himself all alone. It meant that he was beginning a new life. A life in which he had the support that he always needed to have but never was able to have until now. All thanks to his battle with Dilaudid.


End file.
